Friday, May 23, 2008

Who Loses, Wins!

Hillary Clinton's supporters are absolutely gobsmacked at the apparent consensus within the mainstream media that their candidate's vagina is nothing, no nothing!, as compared to Barack Obama's tan:
"I'm horrified with the mainstream," said Shannen Davis, 52, a social worker. "Until Senator Clinton ran for office, I had no idea that they were misogynist, biased, women-haters who have been waiting for this chance to throw all their jabs at a woman."
But, you see, the problem with such a verdict--i.e. that the mainstream media must be filled with "women-haters" because it gives Hillary Clinton a hard time--is that it doesn't really follow from the given premises.

For if it is the case that Ms. Davis, after a half-century of existence on this planet (indeed, in as media-saturated a country as the USA), "had no idea", none whatsoever, that the MSM was as misogynist as she is now claiming that it is, then odds are ... it isn't! That is: odds are that the media's problem with Hillary Clinton has absolutely nothing to do with her gender and absolutely everything to do with the substance, or lack thereof, veiled so thinly by her womanly bits.

Logic! Why don't they teach logic at these schools?

Of course, what Ms. Davis is really lamenting is Senator Clinton's impending loss of the decisive power game of our age: the Who's The Minority-er? game.

My fellow countrymen will swell with pride (... that doesn't sound right, does it? Better call it gay pride just to be safe) to know that this, along with hockey, is the definitive Canadian sport. And while our neighbours to the south might've 'zazzed it up with a lot of tinsel and gloss, as they do with everything, we remain to be the innovators and--I am convinced!--the true practitioners.

Take all this hullabaloo in the news over the Reasonable Accommodation Commission. Here we have the province of Québec, the ne plus ultra of entitled victimhood--with its draconian language laws and its own separatist party represented federally--losing the battle of wounds to the only opponent in a stronger position than it: a handful of Orthodox Jews and Muslim immigrants. (The incredible disparateness of this particular mix is but a spicy new gravy on a fry-and-curd-optional dish that will continue, nonetheless, to call itself poutine.)

Now, the Americans may have made some headway in earnestly debating whether a black man's gas is stronger than a white woman's, but they have yet to reach quite the level of sheer sense-deprivation that we have attained to: the conviction that these are the winds of change, and that their smell is sweet!